7 Life Lessons I Learned As I started To Maneuver My 30s!

I used to love getting older and now more than ever, I know that what i actually loved was the idea of getting older not the reality!

However, here I am aging, and I can honestly say that this is the happiest I’v ever been.

It takes time to find your footing, sharpen your thinking, do away with bad habits, and find people whose company elevates the quality of your life. It’s nearly impossible to do that when you’re young because everything is being decided for you. As you get older, you gain the freedom of choice, which allows you to build the type of life you want to live.

I turned 31 this week. It’s insane to think about the things I have experienced thus far but also knowing that I am yet to live out the best years of my life.

The best part of my birthday is getting to reflect on how my thinking has evolved and all the life events I’ve experienced in the process. If you’ve been with me for a while, you know I’ve been doing annual reflections for the last two years.

So I wanted to start a tradition, and pen down some practical, non-obvious lessons I’ve learned in the last decade. I hope you find them useful.

1. Approach every situation with good intent: Over the years, I’ve learned that many of us see the world through a distorted lens of insecurity. If you’re worried about losing your job, every offhand remark your co-worker makes in front of your boss will make you think he’s trying to get you fired. Is he actually an evil person with a hidden agenda or have you written him that way into your personal narrative? The best advice God has ever given me is to approach my life, my work, and my relationships with good intent. It’s changed my life in that I’ve shifted my mindset from blaming others to focusing on my own actions. Malicious or not, I no longer internalize other people’s actions nor do I judge how they choose to lead their lives. hehe …this is still work in progress!

2. Happiness lies in life’s most ordinary moments: Brené Brown once said, “We chase extraordinary moments instead of being grateful for ordinary moments until hard shit happens. And then in the face of really hard stuff — illness, death, loss — the only thing we’re begging for is a normal moment.” Here’s the great irony of life — we are constantly pursuing the exciting and the extraordinary yet when we lose someone, we’re willing to give anything to hear the sound of them opening the fridge, having a meal with them, or singing off-key in the shower just one more time. Remember, each moment we’re alive is impossibly fragile. Learn how to enjoy the mundane moments today. Take for example, this enlightening moment of you reading my post, lovely i tell you!

3. Don’t be a snob: Don’t ever underestimate the power of a meal. Remember that the dish you’re eating is nowhere nearly as important as where you are sitting when you eat it and who you’re eating it with. Don’t even get me started with people who share a meal with you alongside 3 other people over the phone in their hands. As Anthony Bourdain said, “It’s something I will always at least aspire to — To experience joy, one has to leave oneself open to it.” Embrace difference. Delight in strangeness. Find joy in the weird.

4. Stop idolizing imperfect humans: We idolize, worship, and envy relationships, careers, and lives of people we’ve never even met. And then we gasp in horror when we find out that Bill and Melinda Gates are filing for divorce. You don’t know Bill and Melinda, and you certainly don’t (nor would you want to) know what your neighbor does after dark. People are dealing with family drama, money problems, insecurities — all sorts of human messiness on a daily basis. Idolizing forces you into blindly worshipping imperfect humans. LEARNING, on the other hand, allows you to observe, synthesize, and pave your own imperfect path. hiihihi, i love this.

5. Eliminate the drama: A sister friend recently made the observation that we have a really small circle of friends — and that’s a good thing. Be discerning about who you choose to spend time with. Weed out the drama (and the people who thrive off of drama), and watch your life drastically improve. Surround yourself with friends who challenge you and help elevate your thinking.

6. You will never be ready — and that’s OK: We’re always taught to prepare. To be ready for the next phase of life. But in the last year, I’ve learned that you just need to jump in and do it. You learn by doing, not by waiting. I am proud to have attained my long awaited certification to enable me to serve you well. After several encounters with broken relations, young women self sabotaging, failed businesses and all the trauma caused by the pandemic on people’s mental health, I am now a certified transformation and forgiveness life coach ready to walk and work the journey with you until you are out!

7. Never forget that you are the author of your life: I hope you, like me, are genuinely looking forward to every new season of your life. I once saw a quote that said: “I trust this next chapter because I know the author.” That’s it — every chapter of life depends on its author picking up the pen. So, it’s simple then. Just pick up the damn pen and write something worthwhile.

I love you all and I celebrate your life today.

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Transformation and Forgiveness Life Coach